Warriors dance like Dumbledore
by vellymymare
Summary: Absolutely pointless writing, to be honest I have no idea why I wrote this. Probably just to annoy Firestar. Random (hopefully) funny chapters which deify the laws of gravity and Gandalf.


_**A/N: I can't write these types of things that well, well in my opinion, just a little idea that came into my head. I actually ship this for some reason, I was sad to find no fanfiction about it. I might do more of these little pointless things.**_

_**Disclaimer: I own no fandoms referenced in this only this fanfic**_

**_Please read and review_**

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Firestar blinked as his eyes opened to face a new dawn, his face set in look of seriousness. Wait, what. This can not be. Firestar grinned at author who is currently puzzling over what is going on. Firestar yawned before smiling a Cheshire cat  
"I just broke the fourth wall"

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_Welcome to warriors dance like Dumbledore._

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Firestar lay stretched out on his mossy nest, phone against his ear, twirling the phone cord between his somehow finger like claws, he was in the cravendale advert, remember. "Like yeah," he said not in his normal voice though, it was a high pitched one, apparently he was re-going though puberty "Like awesome, you like get what I mean yeah?" a muffled reply was heard though the phone "Like I know right," Firestar agreed though the author has no idea what the other thing was saying "Love ya baby." Firestar hang up just as Lionblaze ran in  
"Oh my gawd" He screamed at Firestar hitting him over the head with a frying pan "Your cheatin on Sandstorm" leaving Firestar half conscious he ran out to Jayfeather who conveniently at the bottom of the camp and shook him. "You b***** b******!" Jayfeather yelled at his face, "What the f*** do you think your doing"  
"Its like oh my gawd Jayie its like Firestar is cheating on Sandstorm." Lionblaze screamed back before fainting. Jayfeather gasped.  
"He has defied the laws of Gandalf, he must pay the price." Jayfeather brought out a Barney the purple dinosaur out of the medicine cat's den. Taking from it a barbie doll and then teleporting to the center of camp. he with drew a sharpie and drew a summoning spell in the sand teleporting all thunderclan cats and midnight. On arrival the cats bowed to Midnight. Jayfeather nodded to Hollyleaf who was some reason there and no cat questioned it. Holly hurried forward. "Leader Midnight of Gandalf, Lord Firestar of Thunderclan has been suspected of breaking rule 154 of the Hobbit code, also of rule 659 which is eating taking the kits catnip but that's still under investigation." Every cat gasped "If Firestar is found guilty of cheating on Sandstorm, he will face the punishment of," Hollyleaf took the barbie doll from Jayfeather and held it in the air "Having his barbie doll snapped in half and burned at a stake." The queen's fainted and Dustpelt just screamed before also fainting. All of a sudden the room changed to a court room. Midnight sat at the judge's pestle and starclan cats sat as the jury. "Who will be Firestar's defendant?" Midnight yelled, Hollyleaf had already taken the accusers' side. Ivypool raised her paw into the air waving it. "No one, come on!" Midnight banged to magical hammer against the podium. Ivypool waved her paw even more now even standing up before being pushed over by Dovewing who had just raised her paw. "Dovewing, I choose you." Midnight yelled. Dovewing teleported to the front. "Firestar,"Midnight boomed. "You have been accused of cheating on Sandstorm, if you are found guilty your barbie doll, will have it's head cut off and then, burned, to a stake."  
"Like Noooo!"Firestar cried still in his really high pitched voice.  
"Do you plead guilty or not guilty." Midnight growled. "If you plead guilty we will drop the punishment of burning the body to a stake." Firestar blinked before holding a hmm which made him sound like Alvin. Firestar dramatically batted his giant eyelashes before announcing "I like plead like guilty." there where gasps and whispers from the crowd "The cat I love," Firestar placed a paw on his heart the air around him dazzling "Is there." He pointed his paw towards Spottedleaf who was sitting in the crowd of starclan cats.  
"Oh my cheesecake." Sandstorm cried "You said you didn't love her." Firestar frowned.  
"Her?" He followed the direction of his paw, "Oh." he said before shifting it one to the left landing it on Redtail. The mentioned tom leapt from the jury stand as did Firestar, they hugged each other as the theme from titanic began to play. Leaving a bunch of confused cats and a crying Ivypool.

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"Tonight." Greystripe held the axe aloft. "We sever this Barbie's head." Greystripe raised the axe before felling it leaving a Firestar crying into Redtail's fur. The clan cheered. Then Greystripe handed the body and head over to the mourning Firestar. Who preceded to rock back back and forth wimpering. Redtail patted his back with his tail to try and comfort him but failing.

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Firestar gasped, awaking from his dream, or nightmare what ever you want to call it "Oh my gawd." He yelled at Sandstorm shacking her away  
"What the f***!" Sandstorm yelled at him  
"I like had a nightmare it was so like, like, like, scary." Firestar wailed into her fur. Sandstorm facepawed  
"Go speak to Jayfeather," She advised him "and f***-*** so i can go back to sleep." Firestar shock his head and puffed out his chest  
"No, I know what i must do." he fell over

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"Clan I summon thee before me to here what the amazing me has to say." Cats flooded out of the dens including Ferncloud's litter of kits, no one knew what number these were, they were just guessing the 221st. "I have had a nightmare, therefore we will be leaving the cult of Gandalf." There were gasps though out the crowd "And instead my clan we will be join in cult of Dumbledore. The amazing me will now ask everyone their opinion." In turn he went and asked every clan member, with the exception of Millie because she ruined his OTP, their opinion. Afterwards he shrugged and said "That was pointless since i wouldn't have listened to you anyway, We are now in the Dumbledore cult whether you like it or not, now go to sleep." the cats returned to their nests with the exception of one. Ivypool shuffled her feet. "I hate to complain, but no cat ever asked my opinion." she muttered. Daisy hurried to the medicine den to see the cat  
"Who are you?" Daisy asked  
"I'm Ivypool."

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_**A/N: Okay that was terrible, can i still get thoughts if possible... I might do a few more if a get really bored, and yes there are references if you get the I'm Ivypool one your awesome. Also I hope no offence was caused by this, I just have a feeling this could cause offence, how I don't know. Also I'm not trying to be horrible to Ivypool, she's my second favorite character, after Hollyleaf.  
**_Thanks for reading!


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